Sometimes I wonder if people are placed in the path of our lives to teach or be taught a lesson or,is it that they are placed in our world because we deserve the punishment? I feel as if I've answered my own question the instance I typed the last line. Today, the punishment(so to speak) wasn't any different.
The ex sent my husband an email requesting help with the kids T-Ball outfits. This comes after we find out the cost of flying both of the children here for Christmas will total $1,300.00 for a non stop flight with a hefty $200.00 fee per child for the airline attendant. Financially, I'm not quite sure how we are going to pull that off . Our household totals the capacity of six. Our total family size including the two boys raises the bar to eight; Two adults, six children.
You would think his ex would understand the importance of visitation time with their father. After all, we pay her a hefty sum of money to take care of the children they share, not to mention all of their health care and dental needs. Per the court order regarding visitation, my husband was awarded one weekend a month, every other holiday, extended summer visitation of 42 days and one ten minute phone call on odd days starting at 7pm. Also, he was awarded the grand total of nothing in regard to financial provisions to help cover the cost of their travel. Each time the children will travel to see us, the cost will escalate in price due to the nature of the three week time frame we have to book flights.
I wish the government and all of it's little court systems would push the custodial parents to pull their share of the financial portion. Currently, his ex works as an Independent Contractor...She walks dogs. Yes, that's right..Dogs. I can't say anything horrible about her choice of employment; However, as a former single mother of four, it saddens me to see a woman with three children to care for, choose a career path with such a lax and unstable income. Her choice of employment hinders my husband from visiting his children. She isn't pushed to pull her end of the financial portion; therefore, he cannot pull his end of physically caring for the children during visitation.
The ten minute calls are a shot in the dark. It always turns out the same. He calls at his scheduled time only to get her voice mail. He leaves a message. She never answers and rarely returns the call. Believe me, on the days her child support is due, She is cold calling his phone like a rabid cyclopes in need of another eye. Sometimes she will send a text message stating she will have the children call at a later time but he never hears a word from them. When my husband does communicate with the boys, his ex will snatch the phone from their ears to give him a piece of her diluted mind. Sure, his ex will speak the part about his inability to co-parent. She wastes no time verbalizing her opinion regarding him being less than a human to father a child. Surely this conversation comes shortly after the four year old told my husband he had a new daddy. We later find this new guy in his ex's life works at a bar and was formerly charged with several DUI's. At this point, I become concerned about the care of the children. My husband is overly burdened with the distress of the situation.
I worry about my husband's missed opportunities to visit with the boys due to our financial hardship simply because he is due to deploy at anytime. The USMC doesn't waste anytime planting a number on the back of an able body. It won't be long before he hits the overseas realm and in that moment all hopes of seeing his family, as well as the children he shares with his ex, will be gone for a year. He won't be able to call his children on the telephone at 7 pm our time. When you work for the government, you are under their rule of thumb.
I pray to God something turns around. I pray she finds a more stable position of employment. I hope my husband and I are able to see the children for every scheduled visit. I find peace in believing we will all come out of this disaster of a three way unhealthy relationship. I find joy in the hope of seeing the kids again. I find love there too. I wish his ex could see the importance of their father needing to be a part of the children's lives as much as she values the importance of her child support.
Until next time...Praying for the best outcome
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